WE FORGOT EVERYTHING WE WERE.

Hi I'm Denise.
I love watching movies and t.v shows.
You can message me or ask me anything you want.
Thanks for actually reading this

meeting Jesus in the afterlife

jesus:

i have the answer to all of humanities questions

me:

what does cr1tikal look like

showing music to friends

me:

dude check out this band

friend:

what kind of music is it

me:

its shitty fuckin twinkle emo music that's all it ever is

unclefather:

chandra75:

unclefather:

my toenail fell off in gym one time and i had to eat it so that no one saw it

What the fuck is wrong with you? 

it was a moment of weakness

(via mydogsnokes)

When someone walks slower than me:

omfg your slow ass is clogging up the hallway for the rest of us put some pep in your step grandma

When someone walks faster than me:

jesus christ are you on the run from the police this isn't a race you can tone it down usain bolt

When someone walks at the same pace as me:

who gave your creepy ass permission to walk with me get the fuck away before I call the cops

fiseebilillah:

REAL TALK

fiseebilillah:

REAL TALK

(Source: blvcknvy, via hypotenose)

stabla:


i went to my great aunts funeral today, which was interesting and sad because i found out so much about her. 
she got the first face lift ever in new zealand
she had a “glass act” (pictured above) where she would wash her face and body in broken glass and not get slightly scratched. when members of the audience tried, they were grievously injured.
she once hypnotized 500 people for fun and then asked them to go and stand on a highway, so that cars couldn’t pass. she got in a lot of trouble because the crowd got so large that there was a national traffic crisis.
her act included hypnotizing people into walking to work in their underwear, with their consent of course, and one of the men who had actually done it came to the funeral.
at her funeral all these people who had been in her act showed up and talked about how great she was, how she was gifted and crazy and i suppose i’m sad and happy about it.

stabla:

i went to my great aunts funeral today, which was interesting and sad because i found out so much about her. 

  • she got the first face lift ever in new zealand
  • she had a “glass act” (pictured above) where she would wash her face and body in broken glass and not get slightly scratched. when members of the audience tried, they were grievously injured.
  • she once hypnotized 500 people for fun and then asked them to go and stand on a highway, so that cars couldn’t pass. she got in a lot of trouble because the crowd got so large that there was a national traffic crisis.
  • her act included hypnotizing people into walking to work in their underwear, with their consent of course, and one of the men who had actually done it came to the funeral.

at her funeral all these people who had been in her act showed up and talked about how great she was, how she was gifted and crazy and i suppose i’m sad and happy about it.

(Source: artfucker1996, via waterflops)

dulect:

when people say years young instead of years old

image

(via hypotenose)

lifehackable:

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i-hate-the-beach:

fancypancakes:

you cant come back from that

Shit

i-hate-the-beach:

fancypancakes:

you cant come back from that

Shit

(via heyitsjanesdiary)